“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way;
It is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,
but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.”
– 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV)
Being married to a coach is a daily challenge. Long hours come with the job. Having to share your spouse with other people’s children and the community. Gossip, arm-chair quarterbacks and that know-it-all in the bleachers who is talking way too loud about someone you love. Living out of your car and missing family dinners can make a person feel frantic and lonely. Keeping up with the household and kids can make you feel unappreciated and exhausted. To navigate a marriage through this minefield takes a tremendous amount of work and commitment. My question to you coach is this, “Are you supporting and encouraging your spouse in a positive way?” Robert Needham, a Navy SEAL veteran and leadership consultant says, “You don’t marry one person; you marry three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as the result of being married to you.” Sure you work hard, but don’t forget that your spouse does too! It has got to be a TEAM effort and you have to lead the way.
To make a marriage work, we must be models of love. The Apostle Paul takes a whole chapter to teach us what love looks like. We are to make love the very foundation of our marriages. Am I impatient and disrespectful to my spouse? Do I talk about my own accomplishments and neglect their contributions? Am I rude and short-tempered? Do we make joint decisions or is it always about what I need? Do I too often come home irritable and angry after a difficult practice or game? Do I provoke my spouse by reminding them of all they have done wrong? Love says we are in this together and with God’s help, we will find a way. Love says I love you no matter what. Love says God is in control and we will be obedient to His call on our lives. Love says we are stronger when we are united in our efforts. We love because God loved us first.
Heavenly Father, strengthen my marriage and help me to appreciate all that my spouse does to make it all work. May my words always build up rather than tear down. Amen.